Joke Section: Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking, I'm changing. Why did the toddler throw the butter out the window? So she could see a butterfly. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saw-us. What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? A stick. Why do we actors break a leg? Because every play has a cast. Knock know, whos there, leash, leash who? Leash you could do is answer the doorbell. What do you call fake noodles? Impasta. Why was the pig covered in ink? Cause it lived in a pen. What does IDK stand for? Everyone i ask says they dont know. What do bears call campers in sleeping bags? Soft tacos. What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam. Why does the water never laugh at jokes? Cause its not a fan of dry humour. What did the whale say when he sees an old friend? Whale whale whale look who it is. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little hoarse. You know how people say they lick their nose? I think i was just born with mine. What did the pig say on a hot day? I’m bacon. What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed. What is the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock jokes? He won the no-bell prize. ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender say “sorry we dont serve food here. Why did the old man fall into a well? Because he couldn't see well. Why cant a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted. Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Doesnt matter, its too cheesy. Whats a cats favourite colour? Purrrrrple. Why should you always know on a fridge door before oopening it? In case theres a salad dressing. Why did the chicken cross the road? Be-caaaws! What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded? He sent on his subs. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? You open the door and put it in. Why was the tomato blushing? Cause it seen salad dressing. I cant get to my chocolate in my advent calendar. Foiled again. What do french fries do shen they meet after a long time? They ketchup. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centres. How many lips does a flower have? Two-lips. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-dear! What Do YOU Call a deer with no eyes or legs? still, no-eye-dear! How do celebrities keep cool? Thry have lots of fans! Knock knock, whos theres, no bell, no bell so i just knock? What is a karen called in Europe? An american! Which animal makes the best pet? Cat because they are purr-fect. What did the big flower say to the little flower? hey there bud. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A SHORT PERSON WHEN THERE ANNOYING YOU? Im Up To Here With You. ----------- Riddles: What is always in front of you but you can’t see it? The future. What month of the year has 28 days in it? All of them. What is full of holes but still holds water? A sponge. What has hands but cannot clap? A clock. What two things can you never eat for breakfast? Lunch and dinner What question can you never answer yes to? Are you asleep yet? In a one story house with yellow everything, what colour is the stairs. There are no stairs. I am tall when im young and im short when im old. What am i? A candle. What has to be broken before you can use it? egg.